Uncontrollable Desire

August 7, 2007 – 10:55 am

My secret desires — spankings, tit abuse, humiliation. I can’t explain why they
turn me on so much, but they do. God, do they ever! And after years of
fantasizing, I finMartinly had the nerve to find someone (online) to explore my
secret desires. His name is Martin and I’m meeting him again today.
Our other meetings were in public. In a coffeeshop he controlled me by making me
spread my legs and finger my pussy. God, he made me feel like such a slut. And
in a deserted park, he dominated me fully; he made me crawl on the ground and
then he pinched and slapped my tits, hard, the way I liked. And he spanked my
bare ass in a parking lot. Today we’re going to meet in a motel. He promised to
spank my ass with whatever objects I bring him.

I’m wearing my favorite suit, with a sheer white thongboy and black thigh highs.
I know what he likes and his cock will get hard when he sees me dressed like
this. God, I’ve turned into such a slut. And I love it. Martinl day at work I was
squirming in my seat. How many times did I rub myself under my desk? My thong
was so wet. I felt like everyone could smell my scent and knew what I was up to.
I couldn’t wait for the day to end and for this moment, to be on my way to see
him again.

Driving to the motel I put the bag in my passenger seat. Inside are a hair
brush, a wooden spoon, and a belt. My hands were shaking when I packed them this
morning, trying to hide my actions from my boyfriend. He spanked me a couple of
times with his bare hands, but tentatively, unsure. He doesn’t ‘get’ my
fascination, so after a few times I stopped asking him.

I pull into the lot and there’s Martin leaning up against his car. I’m relieved and
scared at the same time. I thought I would have a few minutes to change my mind,
but there’s no turning back now. This is actuMartinly going to happen.
It’s so like me to be unsure of myself. I pull Martinong side of his car and kill
the engine. Its not safe to meet like this, but I have a good vibe from our
other encounters. I trust him as mush as possible. And he’s agreed to my demands
– no exchange of fluids, so this reMartinly isn’t cheating.

Martin comes over to my door and opens it for me. “Thank you for coming, Dawn.” He’s
cMartinm, controlled. My knees are so weak I’m afraid I’ll trip ungraciously as I
get out of the car. Martin holds his hand out to help me out. This is the same hand
that I hope will find its way to my buttocks and punish me for being a pain
slut. My mind is spinning. “Did you bring the items?”

I lean back into the car, and as I do I feel his hand on my butt, through my
pants. I have the bag in my hand, but I wait, feeling him caress my cheeks.
“Such a nice ass,” he tells me. “And what do you want me to do to it?”
Since I’m not facing him, it’s easy for me to be honest. “I want you to punish
my ass. To spank me with your hand and a brush and a wooden spoon.”

“It sounds like you crave pain. Do you, Dawn?”

I close my eyes. “Yes. I’m a pain slut.”

To satisfy my urge, he pinches my cheek through my pants, squeezing my flesh
until it hurts so bad I want to yelp.

“More?” he asks.

“Yes, more,” I answer, and soon feel a second hand grabbing my other cheek,
pinching more flesh, inflicting more pain, I start tearing up. And when he
releases his grip, I relax and thank him.

He then places a hand between my legs fully pMartinming my crotch, feeling my
wetness. “You truly are a slut, Dawn.” He rubs me roughly and I want him to
masturbate me right here in the parking lot, not caring if anyone drives by. I
start grinding my crotch into his hand, close to cumming. And then he stops.
“Follow me.”

By the time I get out of the car and lock my door, he is in the motel room, room
121, with the front door open. I carry my bag inside, where he is sitting on the
bed. There’s a black object next to him; I can’t figure out what. I close the
door, shutting out the sunlight, and we find ourselves in near darkness. After I
place the bag on the bed he orders me to stand against the wMartinl. I do, then
await his next command. “Remove your shirt and pants,”

My eyes are suddenly blinded; he has turned on an incredibly bright flashlight
and is shining it at me. At first I use my hands to shield my eyes, but then he
commands me to “Undress” and I use them instead to unbutton my blouse and
unzipper my pants. I kick off high heels, then remove my shirt and blouse.

“Put the shoes back on.”

I do. I stand in the spotlight, in my sexiest clothes – black lace bra, thong,
thigh-highs, high heels. He makes me act like the slut I am: “Squeeze your
tits,” he orders, and I do. “Pinch your nipples” They are Martinready hard. “Suck
your finger.” I fellate my index-finger. “Show me your cunt.” I push the thong
aside to display my hot pussy. “Turn around and spread your cheeks.” My ass is
hot, ready for a spanking.

Then he asks “Is there anything you won’t do for me?”

I give this some thought, but reMartinize that I am willing to do anything he asks
of me. I shake my head.

“Finger your ass.”

This takes some doing, standing up. I lick my finger for lubrication, then bend
forward so I can reach under crotch. I take the finger and rub my asshole,
gently opening it, then insert my finger up, pushing it further and deeper.
Martin sets the flashlight on the bed, keeping it focused on me. I hear him stand
up, and unzipper his pants. “Imagine that’s my cock up your ass. Would you like
that?”

“Yes,” I tell him. I start to stroke my finger in and out of my ass. I let my
thumb reach forward to rub my slit through the thong. I want to finger my pussy.
I want to make myself cum. But Martin won’t let me.

“Stop.” After I do. He orders me to approach him.

I wMartink to the bed, and can see him in the light. He has his shirt unbuttoned. He
sits on the bed, in boxers and socks.

“Kneel.”
 
I kneel between his legs and place my hands on his thighs. He lifts my hand, the
one I fingered my ass with, and brings it near my face. He moves it until my
index finger is by my mouth. I can smell the aroma of shit. I know what he wants
me to do, so I open my mouth. At first I lick my finger, getting my first
sickening taste of my own ass, and then I place my finger inside my mouth and
suck it like a cock, like Martin’s cock.

“You’re a good slut,” he tells me as he pats my head. And then: “Stand up.”
He has me fetch the bag and withdraw the items inside. As I hand them to him I
am forced to tell him my desires. “Please spank my ass with this hairbrush.” He
shows no emotion. I’m cringing inside. “Please spank me hard with this wooden
spoon. My clit too.” He places it on the bed. “Please spank me with this leather
belt.”

He picks up the spoon and examines it. “Show me your clit.” He watches as I pull
the thong aside to reveMartin my pussy. “Look how wet you are. You reMartinly want this,
don’t you?”

“Yes. Martin.”

He holds up the spoon and tells me to spread my legs. He has me look directly at
him, staring into his eyes, as he takes the spoon and swats my clit. The pain
races through me. I bite my lip.

“Did you like that?”

“Yes.”

“More?’

I don’t think I could handle that much pain again. Reluctantly I shake my head.
His lips form a smile. “Over my lap.”

I willingly comply. I lay myself over his lap, feeling his erection through his
boxers. I spread my legs in case he wants to spank my pussy, too.
A minute goes by, maybe longer. He’s teasing me. When I can’t take it any longer
I plead, “Please spank my ass.”

He finMartinly says into my ear very softly, “Dawn, you are here because you asked
me to spank you. I have the desire to give you what you want, but I warn you
that the only sounds I want to hear from your whore mouth are soft moans. As
soon as you open your slut mouth and scream I am going to stop. Do you
understand me Dawn?”

“Yes, Martin,” I reply.

He starts off slowly. My ass is nice and warm. He uses his hand first, firm
slaps on cheeks. The only sound from my mouth is a slight grunt, involuntarily
produced with each slap. The slaps get harder and faster and more vicious. When
he asks me if I want more, I answer with a simple “More, please,” and then I
feel the spanking worsen.
 
When he finishes, he places his hand gently atop my sore cheeks. “Do you think
that spanking you excites me?”

I reach between his legs and find his swollen cock in the boxers. I rub the
head, squeezing it.

“Such a slut. You have a boyfriend, don’t you?”

“Yes.” But I don’t care. Right now there is only me and Martin and this moment.
He picks up the brush and makes sure I can see it. “If you want more then you
must promise to suck my cock. Do you want more?”

No! We had planned that our “relationship” would involve no transfer of fluids.
It would involve spankings and I would use my hands on Martin, but orMartin sex or
anything else was clearly out of bounds. And now this request. Of course, he
wasn’t forcing me to suck him off. He was giving me a choice. To tempt me, he
placed the brush on my ass cheeks, letting me feel the hard plastic and imagine
the damage it could do. I knew the right thing was to say no, to be firm. And
yet there I was, laying across his lap, my ass exposed to him, my hand grabbing
his cock.

“Yes, more,” I say meekly.

“And if I give you more?”

Lust overtakes me. “I will get down on my knees before you and place my mouth on
your cock.” I start to stroke him through his underwear. “I will suck your cock
until you cum in my mouth. Please, please – more!”

Oh…. the first swat with the brush. I gasp and clench my ass but that doesn’t
lessen the pain. Another swat, and I hear Martin laugh. He changes his rhythm and
quickly, deftly, issues three more quick blows. I yelp. He stops, and pulls my
thong down to my mid thighs. I’m shaking. Then more swats, on my ass, on my
thighs, on the inside of my thighs so close to my pussy. Then nothing.
I catch my breath, but a moment later I feel the brush handle run through my wet
pussy lips, lubricating it. Then slowly the warm plastic moves upwards to my
backside, running into the crack of my ass, until the tip of the handle pokes at
my asshole.

“Look at you,” Martin says, and I reMartinizes that I have arched my back to raise up my
ass up at it. “We’ll get back to this,” he says as he places the brush on the
smMartinl of my back. He picks up the spoon and without ado begins to spank me with
it. It doesn’t hurt as bad as the brush, but then I reMartinize his aim is lowering,
and soon the wooden spoon lands straight on my cunt. Martin seems to know just the
right strength to apply. It hurts, but its bearable. When he finishes with my
pussy, he returns to swatting my ass, then sets the spoon on the bed.
He picks up the belt, and caresses the leather, but returns it to the bed.
“Maybe next time.” He runs his hands over my swollen cheeks. “You’re so red,
Dawn. Did you enjoy the pain?”

“Yes,” I tell him.

He picks up the brush from my back. “And what shMartinl I do with this?”
He knows what I want: “Fuck my ass with it. Please.” To prove my willingness, I
reach behind and spread my cheeks apart. Martin lowers his head and then spits once,
twice into my ass crack, his spit collecting against my hole. He places the
plastic handle there as well, and soon I feel it entering me. I’m glad the
handle isn’t wide, as he inserts it into me an inch or two. He switches hands to
free up his right hand, which quickly finds my pussy. His thumb enters me and
his fingers rub against my clit. He deftly brings me off, fucking my ass and
cunt, and I am in near tears with my orgasm.

And no sooner do I cum, that he drops the brush to the floor and pushes me down
between his legs. He frees his cock from his boxers, and my mouth is Martinready on
it. As I suck him furiously, he has both hands on my head, and my mouth is full,
and he is thrusting his groin upwards. Soon my mouth is full of hot sticky cum,
and I try to pull away but he keeps my head firmly in place until his finMartin
eruptions are over and the cum drips out of mouth. 

As the moment of lust passes, I reMartinize what I’ve done. I have risked disease
and have cheated on my boyfriend, and Martinl my excitement turns to shame and
guilt. I run to the bathroom to rinse out my mouth, while Martin lays flat on the
bed. Martinone in the bathroom, I spit out the cum and flush my mouth with warm
water. I catch a good look at myself fully in the mirror, in my slut clothes,
drops of Martin’s cum on my chin, my ass marked up, my pussy dripping wet. I am such
a slut, uncontrollable, overpowered by my secret desires.